lucy's first session at preschool

Today was lucy's first session at preschool. Look at her, all packed and ready to go. I say this but actually it was with an air of hesitation that we both set out this morning. Lucy simply repling "Nooooo" when i told her what she might do a there and the fun she might have. We took emily off to school (now staying for lunch!!) and drove straigh back to the preschool Emily used to be at. I love it there. It is very play based with only a few informal "structured" activities - not like a mini school at all. I was of course happy to stay for as long as needed but also had to balance this with not wanting her to think i would be staying everytime she went. I packed her a packed lunch also.

I am saying all of this because although i had given it all some thought - i had not thought about it enough... I stayed for nearly an hour and then said a quick goodbye and left her in the capable hands of her keyworker who is lovely. It was not until i got home that i started to feel bad and within minutes i was crying my eyes out, all alone with no one to look after but the dirty washing and the hoover! i knew she would be fine, i knew she would not cry but she is not as strong as Emily, emotionally, she is shy, she copes enough with being away from me when i have to work (which is far too much at the moment)

oh my i felt terrible. why had a sent her away? what was i thinking? she was staying for lunch with a room full of people she did not know! i kept myself busy for about 45 mins and then i phoned them and asked if it was ok if i picked her up before she had lunch. of course it was and they reasured me that she was fine, she had not cried or asked after me and was playing happily on the floor in the home corner. I was all ready to take her out and not put her back in until after xmas!

we walked home and she told me about her time away. She seemed 10ft taller than when i had left her. So there we are. another baby growing up. I had not realised until today how unready i was for it. So much is changing in our lives at the moment that this one just crept up on me without any real thought.

after lucy and i picked up Emily from school, we took a drive to a beach near by as the weather was so deliciously hot.

Lucy decided she wanted to play hide and seek (yer on a beach!!) and she found a couple of places to hide - under the steps and also if you dig a little hole with your hands and then put your head in it, no one can see you!!!!

The afternoon was lovely. just what i needed, some much needed uninterupted girl time where time did not matter. While we were on the beach a lady and her husband had been watching the girls happily playing and after a while she came over. she had been across the beach to find some different shells to show the girls. She told them exactly what they were called and how she had played on the beach when she was a little girl. It really was lovely.

She then said the most heart warming thing. When they were watching us she said to her husband "now there is a real mum, she is being attentive to her children and caring for their every need"  

life can be tough sometimes on us mums but we are all just doing the best that we can arent we. Lets just hope it is good enough.