that "grrrr" feeling.

So i had my observation today in maths. challenging bottom set, slow progress, need practical activities etc. the lesson was "graded" satisfactory and i am feeling very :( about it all. I just feel like this job is so awe consuming and you constantly judge yourself anyway on whether what you do is enough. Today i tipped the edge of "enough".  I am hoping i am going to feel a bit better tomorrow. Just really disappointed.

Amazing views out of the girls bedroom window this morning.

baked some delicious flapjacks from my favourite magazine, yesterday.

also made some squishy playdough, Lucy could not wait undil it cooled down completely!

Could not be doing too badly then? surely?

Things i LOVE

So I am still feeling a little sorry for myself. Too much Work and not enough work life balance at the moment. So much so that i fell asleep on the sofa yesterday after lunch which just never happens.

Today all is quiet here, Lucy is at Preschool this morning and Emily is obviously at school, so just as i was about to sit down for a cup of tea i started thinking about the things that i have in my house that i love and cheer me up. First there is my new mug which i got in Sainsbury's yesterday for £1.50. Also, the Sarah Raven catalogue arrived in the post yesterday while i was snoozing. Spring catalogues always get my heart racing. i love gardening and i definatly think in my garden, flowers are the way to go this year. Vegetables did not go so great last year (another time element) and i would like it to look really pretty a place to relaxing. still some veg as it is so educational for the girls buy lots of pretty flowers...

Essentially i need a bigger garden to do what i want to do and although i have the school garden i do not have the time to do anything there!!!

aren't they beautiful though!

I have also bought recently this folder to help me be more organised with my bits of paper.... hmmm!

And for christmas from Ian's cousin i recieved this gorgeous cake stand which i love!

And finally, i managed to get this beautiful blanket for £3 from Dunelm and it is the exact colour i am hoping to decorate our living room, hall and stairs, perhaps with some floral chince touches! can't wait! new carpet too!

It might sound like we are spending a lot of money at the moment. believe me we are not! Ian's over time is ending and we are reining in the spending on food and other things we dont need!! Also expecting to inherit some money soon which will pay for the redecorations before we save the rest.

So yes we are being wise with our money, but a girl has to have some lovely things when she is struggling with other elements of her life!!

Back to it then!

Picture from Attic24

Yep back to school today and bam it hits me like a brick! So much to do so little time as my heart starts to race just thinking of what we have to achieve just to keep our heads above water. And already i pine my wonderful christmas holidays with my babes.

We woke at 7:30 this morning. For those of you who know us well, that is late! It was because Emily was suffering with another "bad dream" and was moaning and crying from about 3 til 4am, then did not want to get up to go to school. Cant blame her really. I could have easily had another pjama day my self, but no.

Both girls were very tired by the end of the tea (which is becoming a battle ground now i am back on the diet) and we slowly moved to bed early.

And on to the lap top.I found out today that I have a lesson observation on thursday next week and i am not looking forward to it. It is like having a mini exam as there are so many different elements to it. "Will i get a good? what can i do to get an outstanding? how do i delopy my TA's? are all the children progressing enough, are they being challenged enough? is there fun and interest.... you get the idea! No pressure!

So yes we are back on the treadmill.

Slow

Oh yes we have been taking things slowly here. I dont think i can remember a christmas quite like it really. Just not actually going out of the house unless totally neccessary and i have loved it.

We have titivated with things that needed sorting, like my crochet basket and the children's drawing boxes. We have done a little gardening and made some space on the book shelf for some more of the girls new books, but apart from that we have been mainly staying in our pj's til gone 11, eating way too many chocolates and endulging in christmas tv.

 Today we did venture out to my dad's house and then on to Dunelm, where i bought some gorgeous throws for our sofas and a blanket that is in the exact shade i would like in the livingroom ( i have managed to convince Ian this week that we need to redecorate and carpet the front room  and so i am not planning mentally how i would love it to be!!) and following that i have been lounging on the sofa this evening watching catch up christmas tv snuggly and warm.

 Ian is driving all the way to Devon and back to take Callum home as we speak. It has been a joy to have him with us for the last 2 weeks and we were all sad to see him go. Roll on Easter.

So how have you been spending this luxurous week off? I am looking forward to taking the decorations down on new years day and being ruthless with the toys that we actually need/ want in our toy corner where the tree is at the moment. Emily is very excited about making it into a "home corner" with their new portable cooker and tea sets etc. I am hoping i will have enough energy to get settled before we go back to school on Wednesday and the stress begins again.

x

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

We have had a lovely relaxing christmas here and i hope you have too. Full of tradition and of course excitement, far to many toys and far too much food! Great!!!

 On christmas eve we went for a walk to give the ducks their christmas present and also to get some fresh air.... there was also an oppertunity for Lucy to have a go on Emily's old scooter before Father Christmas comes tomorrow! For Christmas this year she would like "teeties and a scooter"!

 We made our first ever christmas cake and decorated it with some of the old decorations from my nan's tin. I hope it tastes as good as hers used to!

 We fed the reindeer some very special food before going to bed. (thank you sophie for helping us make it!)

 This year there were 3 stokings to put out for father Christmas as we have the pleasure of callum staying with us. He usually comes after christmas so it was a real joy to have him experience christmas with us!

 7AM Christmas morning! better than our normal wake up time!!

 And yes Father Christmas did bring a scooter for lucy. Infact Emily got one too from auntie Linda.

 Christmas dinner at home this year! Delicious and all the better as i did not cook it! Ian is a master at roasts and i would not like to interfer!!

"merry christbus" Lucy said all the way through the meal! she just loved it!

Emily is 5!

well almost! As  i write this  I was in tremendous labour pains, pushing as i recall and at 8:05pm, Emily was born! oh that feeling of holding your first born in your arms is just like nothing else in the world is it! hmmm.

And how she has grown! Today was weird as it was the first birthday she (or lucy for that matter) has had where she has not been with me/ us. i could not wait to get her home this evening! i really missed her today.I mean we did see her during the day today as it was her first nativity play too and reception were singing . Oh it was lovely, so beautiful and simple. We really enjoyed it.

this jumper was one of her presents today. I tisf from frugi (organic company) and i just love it! wish i could have one!

And of course there was a birthday crown which she wore all day today at school. notice the crocheted flowers!

All in all i think she had a good day. It always makes us mothers a little sad at the end of a birthday doesnt it as it certainly makes me thnk "where has that year gone?" and "how i wish time would still for longer"

Happy birthday to my baby.

Birthday weekend.

This weekend we celebrated Emily's birthday with a little tea party for a few of her friends from  her class. It was lovely, really special to have such lovely girls come. The theme was fairies and before everyone arrived we gave Emily her main birthday present early - well it just would not have been the same with out it! A tinkerbell outfit! Oh my how she has loved it! She has worn it non stop all weekend along with her tinkerbell slippers that her mummy made! She just loves it. So pleased. (also pleased about the price!, i got it at an NCT sale in October for £3.50 - looks brand new to me! The funniest part being that i did not realise until she put it on, it has flashing lights in the front, very gentle twinkling pixie dust light, that she also loves!!)

Anyway, back to the party. We decorated fairy wands and pixie dust glass bottles, as well as played pass the parcel and musical bumps. The girls were so excited to be in each others company and were happy playing some of the time. even ending up colouring in on the floor by the time it was home time.

Another bargain - little glass bottles with a cork topper, £1 for 3 !! - pixi dust bottles!

The cake was a little bit of a cop out for me, a number 5 in cupcakes, but oh was my life easier!

The rest of the weekend was spent at home with family and friends coming to visit and stay for tea. Lots of present opening, all of which were lovely! Emily's actual birthday is not until Tuesday but seeing as this will be the first year she will be at school, the actual day will be low key. Obviously it is the last week of term, christmas madness, nativity play on her birthday also and daddy is working in the evening so it will be just us girls for tea. - When i said to her this morning what would you like for tea on your birthday, you can choose, would you like spaghetti or pizza.... i would like cucumber, and ham and jacket potato!!! ha!!!